A protection scenario in a context of domestic violence helps you plan what to do in different situations to ensure your safety and your children’s.
Wheter you feel ready to leave home or not, it is important to take measures to ensure your protection and never put yourself in danger.
You have no control at all on your partner’s violence, but you can have control over your safety and your children’s.
Here are some instructions to follow to prepare yourself :
Keep a hidden bag or suitcase that you can quickly and easily collect. You can put in it these following objects :
- A dupplicate of the keys to the appartment\house as well as the car;
- Some cash;
- Your identity documents (yours and your children’s) : Health insurance cards, birth certificates, passeports;
- Your driver’s license and proof of registration;
- Your debit and credit cards;
- A copy of your lease or mortgage and other important documents just in case;
- A picture of your partner or ex-partner to help us identify him in case of emergency.
We suggest that you put it at a friend’s or a family member’s home if you are afraid he will find it.
Make sure your purse has the following things :
- Your wallet;
- Your identity documents;
- Your keys;
- your medication and your children’s;
- Your cellphone;
- The number of the nearest shelter or S.O.S. Violence Conjugale hidden somewhere in your purse.
Plan a transport :
- Hide a dupplicate of your car keys somewhere safe around the house;
- Memorise the number of a taxi company;
- Plan a transport with a friend or a family that you can trust.
Talk to people you trust about you situation :
- Agree with them to a code you only use if you are in danger so they can call the police, something very subtle;
- Warn the neighbors to call the police if think you are in danger;
- If you don’t know the ressources near you, call S.O.S. Violence conjugale at the 1 800 363-9010, they will put you in communication with a shelter.
You can teach you children to dial 911 in case if an emergency
Plan a place (parents, friends, shelter) where you can find safe refuge in case of an emergency.
- If your partner knows where this person lives and you think it is dangerous to go there, find someone to go to whose adress is unknown to your partner.
Establish a reliable relationship with a shelter by sharing your situation. Don't hesitate to contact them anytime for immediate support and help.
At anytime, if you feel concerned about your safety, dial 911.
It is important to think and act quickly to ensure your safety and your children's. Don't hesitate to contact 911 for assistance immediatly.
Always rely on your judgment and your intuition. If the situation becomes very dangerous, quit quickly. Always remember that your priority is your safety and your children's.
- As soon as it is possible for you to do so, leave the premises with the children;
- Pretext an appointment with the doctor or maybe try to leave when he is at work;
- Try to pack or take your emergency suitcase\bag if you have time.
Suitcase : personal things, clothes, pyjamas, teddy bear, blanket and one of your children’s favorite toy. that will bring them comfort.
Try to reassure your chilren when you have the opportunity.
Make sure you have your cellphone.
Avoid rooms without exit (bathroom, basement, etc.). Also avoid areas where firearms or knives are stored.
At all time, if you are afraid for your safety, dial 911.
If you fear for your safety or your children's :
- Make sure you are never alone with your ex-partner;
- Favor public places if you have to meet;
- If possible, go meet him with someone you trust;
- When it is possible, never give him your new adress or your temporary adress. If you go to court, ask the court to keep your adress confidential.
Secure your home :
- Change the locks;
- If you moved out, make sure your new adress or temporary adress stays confidential. If you have to go to court against him, ask the court to keep your adress confidential;
- Make sure your windows are locked and cannot be opened from outside;
- Put a light in the entrance and\or have an alarm system (we understand it can costs a lot, but IVAC can pays for it if you ask for it and if you are accepted. Call us if you need any information about this);
- It can be a good idea to move out to an appartment building with a secure entry system.
Make sure you have a cellphone or a cordless phone by your bed in case of an emergency.
Be alert, especially when you go to places you used to go together. Change the time and dates of appointments already taken in advance for you and your children.
Contact a legal adviser to legalize child custody and to know your rights.
During changes in custody or visits of children :
- Reduce contact to the minimum with your ex-partner (if you don’t have children or a house at you name with him, we suggest you don’t talk to him at all if you don’t want to);
- Do changes in custody of children at the daycare or at school. Otherwise, choose public places (for exemple: the police station, the mall, entrance hall of a store, etc.);
- Do not stay in parking lots or less frequented places;
- Never negociate with him direcly. Use the lawyer for that.
If you are a victim of harassment, threats, assault and or harassing calls, contact the police :
- If you experience harassment, it is possible to optain a restricting order against him;
- Find out about the possibilities of an 810;
- You can also call the police to fill a complaint.
Contact a shelter to get the help you need.
At all time, dial 911 if you fear for your safety.
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